041299

Apr. 12 - Apr.18,1999

"Click to see a list of previous weekly columns" International Visitors are welcome!
This page can be viewed in a variety of languages; click the link below and click "Translate" on the page that follows:
Francais Espanol Deutsch Portuguese German Italiano

Mysterious Relativities

~~~What does dreaming, acupuncture, hypnotism and Hillary Clinton have in common? If you're inclined to say, not much, you're probably right-so let's discard Hillary and examine just the first three. What's common in dreaming, acupuncture and hypnotism: They're ubiquitous; they're universal; and they continue to mystify humankind.
~~Take dreaming! What the heck is that! The other night I had the most vivid dream about a tri-colored collie my neighbors used to own-about ten years ago! He (the dog) was basically black and white with just a little tan on his belly. (Now that I think about it, so was the neighbor's wi… well, never mind). Anyway, back then I really admired "Rocky," (the dog) because he was intelligent, obedient and strikingly beautiful-you know, like Lassie, except in mostly B & W.
~~~I remember considering getting a dog like that, but it just wouldn't have worked. I really can't stand to coop a dog up; I'd want to let him run around a lot. But I live in East Texas. That kind of dog has long hair; the heat would positively torture him… plus, think of all the fleas, and ticks, and goat heads and brambles-it would take a 24-hour management team just to do him justice and to keep him trim and looking in good shape-and cool. Yeah, but gee, I would have really been proud to show off with a handsome animal like that…, but, alas, I figured my four loafing boys and my indolent wife were just too darned lazy to get out there and properly tend a long-haired dog for me (and, of course, "I" didn't have time).
~~~So, I never got a dog like that, but why in the world did I dream about him? I called the neighbors to (I admit) ask what the dog's name was and to refresh on what happened to him. The sweet little teeny-bopper daughter of the family told me his name and that he had died of brucellosis. I immediately said, whoa, little girlie, that's a disease cows have-which causes them to abort their calves. It's a highly contagious scourge, and (I eruditely reckoned to the girl) it's called "Bangs" by us local, real Texas cattlemen.
~~~She patiently explained that, yes, it is a common cattle malady in our area, and that, yes, everyone thinks it doesn't affect dogs, and that, yes, she has to go through this explanation every time some adult "rancher" scoffs, but, yes dogs can get it-and so can humans: It was once a dangerous threat to people before such things as pasteurized milk came into being. It is called "Undulant Fever," she said, when contracted by humans.
~~~Well, yes (I stammered to this walking encyclopedia), I do believe, I uh, I have heard something about that…. Humm. Can you name all the nations in Africa, little girl! After she named all the nations of Africa (I guess), I said, okay, keep up the good work. Bye!
~~~Besides the fact that there are certain dreams we all have-Look! I'm flying…! Look! That monster is going to eat me but I can't run in this molasses…! Look! this question was NOT in the book…! and… "Don't" look! I'm naked!--we also know we dream every night. But, remember, those extravaganza, whiz-bang dreams we sometimes experience seem to result after we have consumed a big meal. So, we have to conclude, overeating is at least one cause of dreaming…. Humm.
~~~Now, why would that be? Could it be the dream is a mechanism that evolved to "burn up" excess-and potentially dangerous-energy input. Could it be that a dream, of running for example, burns the same amount of calories as the actual running would do.
~~~I have this idea that we can process only one thought at a time; we really "cannot" walk and chew gum at the same time! It makes sense when you think about it-even though it's so fast and it seems it's happening-there's no way two thoughts can happen simultaneously. So which thought gets the priority? With drugs, it's the high one; with the auto wreck, it's the painful one; and with a dream, it's the dog one… or whichever thought is calibrated to do the calorie trick?
~~~It occurred to me, for example, that when a mosquito bites us, we don't really scratch the location of the bite mark. Instead, we scratch all around the area-even though we can sense that the "main" irritation is at point zero. (When we get hit with a baseball, we rub the "whole" arm). What we're doing is exciting an adjacent area so that our thoughts drink from it rather than from the stinging site.
~~~Thus, in a canine's breath, acupuncture is explained. The brain is tricked into receiving the signal from the skin prick-and, Voila, the scalpel slicing through flesh elsewhere goes unrecorded. And, hypnotism? The fakir merely tunes the individual's brain to a "clear" channel and sends the chosen command, one message at a time.
~~~So, dreams, acupuncture and hypnotism do appear to be-somehow-closely related. In any event, like my surprise visit from Rocky, dreams certainly do remain mysterious! *** ~~~We don't even want to get into the Kosovo thing here. But isn't it amazing to see liberals screaming bombs away! Will they finally learn from this what every boy scout knows: Be prepared. (Ans. No).

"Click to see a list of previous weekly columns"

Click on

I'd like to hear from you. Write to me at Craft Productions
Box 565
Wills Point, TX 75169 OR Send me E-Mail with any comments or suggestions

Alumni time capsule cartons
now on sale
Bluebird Junction

This page best viewed with Netscape
This site has been visited

times since Feb.10, 1997 Current Local time and date
Monday, October 29,2001, 02:12PM CST

Updated Every Monday		Copyright ©Buz Craft 1997, 1998
A weekly column written by Buz Craft		*Web Page created by Ray Glover*